It is the worst feeling trying to compare yourself to other people, celebrities, and models. Like how come im not happy with who i am, how i look, how people perceive me? Like you try so hard to dress like some girl you saw on “his” tumblr because you figure “whoa..okay thats what they like…” but in the end you come nowhere NEAR. Like rightnow, i feel like i want to change my WHOLE WARDROBE, i want to start over cuz maybe if i changed the way i look, i wouldnt have lost him or maybe he’ll notice me this time! oh so many thoughts! it just goes to show how much social media plays a big role today because me, a 20year old, is still trying to look like “the pretty girl on tv.” Its sad for today’s generation and sad because its ME. and im not really afraid to admit all of this because it really bothers me and i want to talk about how I feel like there is no way i can compare to “them.”
What am i thinking?!? its stupid of me to try to look like “his” celebrity crush. It stupid of me to change the way i look just for other people’s perception. I know no one cares that much, but i do. I think i have my style down and then you realize that others “like” a different look and im over here scrambling to look similar. ugh, i really do hate myself for doing all this. like i always say, “thats just tryna do too much!” but i cant help but care what people think.
I wonder if i looked like Jessica Alba, Mila Kunis, That girl from pretty little liars, or WHOEVER, then would i catch his attention more? would he not have left me? or if i was THAT pretty would people not forget about me as much as they do? Would i not be the friend that waits on the side while some guy is hitting up my friends? Cuz thats totally me. i still don’t know.
“once an Ugly duckling…always an Ugly Duckling”
