As I’m sitting on the train (Amtrak), I have all this time to think and do absolutely nothing. Well actually I have to put on my stage makeup and do my hair, but it’s nothing stressful. Anyways, I’m thinking and thinking and I’ve been think ALOT. Mostly about my life and what I want to do when I’m a big girl and what makes me happiest the most. I feel so fortunate that I have the option and ability to make my own decisions that impact only me and lead my life to where I want to go. I don’t have the parents that highly pressured me to become a nurse or doctor. Not that I didn’t want take that route because there is that part of me that LOVES to work with children and having the opportunity to make them feel better is a pretty rewarding experience don’t you think? But it didn’t feel like the RIGHT path. So my parents allowed me to become a dance major because it was so apparent to them that it was my passion and it’s what I wanted to do. Why would they waste thousands of dollars to put me through schooling that I wouldnt enjoy? Exactly, it’s pointless. And I’m grateful and I owe it to them and myself to continue my path, my dream, and my journey to be who I want to be and not settle or deviate from what I KNOW is right. What is right for me and no one else.
I am so exhausted trying to please everyone, be at 10 places at once, and be this “superwoman” that I’ve been called before. I’m physically and mentally tired of that and I’m not happy. I put my health on the line and I risked friendships and even family. I finally helped myself which in turn affects the people surrounding me.
I’m so happy with my decisions. I have the chance to recreate myself and to live my life securely, beneficially„ productively, and most importantly happily. I’m so very excited for my future (it no longer frightens me). And if things don’t go as “planned,” I have options. It’s not the end if I can not fulfill the path I’m on right now. And I KNOW that right now so early on. I would have regretted not making this choice if I decided too hastily.
Sometimes happiness, passion, drive, and you gut feeling is all you need to know what is right. Other times LOGIC might make more sense. At this point in my life, I choose happiness and gut feeling to be the stronger motives for my decisions. I hope that everyone one day feels what I feel right now which is simply Blessed.
Good Morning.
Hello San Diego.
Laugh.
Jennavie
